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An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked
himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life. ...till the boat sank. The man found himself swept up on the
shore of an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing. Only
bananas and coconuts. After about four months he is lying on the
beach one day, when the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen rows up
to him. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did
you get here?" "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said,
"I landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he said, "You
were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "Oh, this?."
replied the woman "I made the rowboat out of raw material that I
found on the island, the oars were whittled from Gumtree branches, I
wove the bottom from Palm branches, and the sides and stern came from
a Eucalyptus tree." "But-but, that's impossible," stuttered the man,
"you had no tools or hardware, how did you manage?" "Oh, that was no
problem," replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there
is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I
fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to
make the hardware. The guy was stunned. "Let's row over to my place,
" she said. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a
small wharf. As the man looked onto shore he nearly fell out of the
boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow
painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with
an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead,
dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said casually "It's
not much, but I call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have
a drink?" "No, no thank you" he said, still dazed, "can't take any
more coconut juice." "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I
have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued
amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm
going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take
a shower and shave, there is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the
bathroom." No longer questioning anything, the man went into the
bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle.
Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end
inside of a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," he mused,
"what next?" When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but
vines-strategically positioned-and smelling faintly of gardenias. She
beckoned for him to it down next to her. "Tell me," she began,
suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a
very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for
all these months? You know... " She stared into his eyes. He couldn't
believe what he was hearing: "You mean-- ?", he replied, "-I can
check my e-mail from here?"
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